I’ve always been a beauty-creator. I created beautiful projects in school. Beautiful gifts for my friends. Beautiful wedding invitations. A beautiful home. Beautiful experiences for my family. A business that helps others be seen for what is most beautiful about them. I’ve always been a beauty-seeker. I love wandering the aisles of antique stores, looking for the perfect vintage door or unique piece that speaks to me. I feel immense joy when I see …
I’ve always been a beauty-creator.
I created beautiful projects in school. Beautiful gifts for my friends. Beautiful wedding invitations. A beautiful home. Beautiful experiences for my family. A business that helps others be seen for what is most beautiful about them.
I’ve always been a beauty-seeker.
I love wandering the aisles of antique stores, looking for the perfect vintage door or unique piece that speaks to me. I feel immense joy when I see people embracing who they truly are, unapologetically. It fills my soul to flip through images of the most stunning physical spaces. And I’m consistently humbled by the beauty within each one of my children.
And I’ve also been a perfectionist…
I like to do the right things. At the right time. In the right way. I like order, and for everything to be just so. So it took me some time to appreciate the raw beauty of life.
As a child I took a drawing class, and because I couldn’t draw perfectly, I quit.
After enrolling in one of the top design schools in the country, I never completed my first course because I felt so insanely inferior to all of the other artist students.
As a young working mom, I felt guilty a lot. Like I wasn’t being a good enough mother and wife or a good enough business owner.
“Not good enough” was both what motivated and what stopped me for a long time.
It took some inner healing for me to fully embrace being a mom who serves my clients and my family. As I did, the not-confident girl who had quit drawing class started to blossom in my business. And amazing things started to happen. I learned to trust myself. LOVE myself. And that imperfection is good enough. In fact, imperfection is beautiful. It’s what makes us unique. Individuals. Our imperfections shape who we are – just as much as our most favorite qualities do.
I think as women in business it’s easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. Especially in the age of social media where we are exposed to curated feeds and beautiful photos of illusionary lives. Inevitably, we start the comparison game. And we judge ourselves and our own progress. I LOVED this post I came across from @janereaction:
Her caption was the most beautifully vulnerable share I have read yet.
“Behind this nice picture (I like this picture anyway) there is a total shit show. 😱 Kids are sick, I yell, I eat my feelings, my kids talk back, I haven’t changed our sheets in weeks 😳my husband and I argue … Instagram sure has a funny way of making you feel like everyone else has it all figured out. 😬 Well, not me. My 6 yr old climbed on the roof today and couldn’t get down and I honestly didn’t know where he went 😂 But I love my family and this picture! This is me living my best life! Our family mantra for 2017 was “just survive” I thought our mantra for 2018 would be “thrive” but now I’m second guessing and thinking it should be “just relax already! Don’t ever say the word ‘curated’ ever again and sit down every once in a while” “
See, behind the pretty photos is a reality that we aren’t aware of. Take, for another example, this headshot of me by the insanely talented @christameola.
What do you see?
Do you want to know what I was FEELING in that photo? Inferiority because “who am I to be the center of attention”. Guilt because I was here, in NYC, having this experience while my husband was home watching our four children alone. Frustration because I woke up that morning with a blemish right on my face. Fear of what others might think when I posted these new images on social and my website. Embarrassed because I wasn’t in the ideal shape that I wanted to be in.
But I also felt so grateful, and happy, and in LOVE with who I was in that moment. I showed up, blemishes and all, and did this thing that felt so out of my reach until now.
I’ve been where you are.
You’re ready to embrace your growth. But that also means showing up – for better or worse – as the face of your brand. And being your TRUE self in front of the world.
Being vulnerable isn’t comfortable. But it is beautiful.
So, this is me, fully embracing who I am. This is me, finally comfortable in my own skin. I’m not perfect. But I’m definitely enough. It’s my sincere desire that you are able to own that in your life, too.
“Perfection does not make me beautiful, worthy, or loved. I am beautiful, worthy and loved simply because I am me.” – Rachel Dunham