A dear friend of mine reached out the other day feeling a bit defeated. She’s a mommy who is working really hard to build her small business. She also works a corporate 9-5 job. (Which is part of the motivation for her building that small side-gig. She really wants out of the J-O-B.) The pressures of being a business owner and the to-do list she gave herself were starting to affect the way she was feeling while with her son. She was ready to put the entire business thing on hold.
I could totally relate.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have chosen to react rather than respond in a situation with one of my children because of the pressures I have put on myself as a business owner. It breaks my heart that I did not have more patience with them in that moment – simply because of the stress level I was experiencing inside. In those moments I often found myself saying, “Why am I doing this? What is it all for? It’s not worth it to feel this way!” And then the moment passed and I would return to the normal day-to-day without ever fully listening to that little, oh-so-insightful voice.
Just a few days before my friend and I were talking through this, I had come across a beautiful author’s note in one of my journals. In 52 Lists for Happiness, Moorea Seal writes,
“For most of my life, I have prioritized so many things over the pursuit of my own happiness. Even the most noble and kind-hearted intentions can sometimes drive us away from the things that ground us and let us thrive… But it occurred to me that even when I succeed in the most difficult goals…my own happiness is still not reaching its full potential. I realized that for most of my life, I have pushed happiness to the very bottom of my list of life goals. I have viewed happiness as a possible result of achieving something else, rather than allowing happiness to be the main goal.”
She is so right! I do this same thing all the time! And I’m willing to bet that most of you reading this probably feel similarly. Is happiness your ultimate goal? Or do you think happiness will be a possible result of achieving something else? I am not saying we abandon our big goals. In fact, I’ve built this company to be a huge support for those who have a great mission and bigger vision for themselves and the world. But I am inviting you to let happiness play a bigger role.
My friend believes that having her own thriving business and no 9-5 job will bring her happiness in her life. But in this moment, the steps she is taking toward that goal are causing her to feel the furthest emotion from happiness. She can’t easily predict when the success level of her side business will be large enough to walk away from her job. She could be working toward this goal for 10 more years, and in the process miss out on experiencing the joy of her son’s childhood. Will that scenario truly make her happy in the end?
But she is not alone here. I’m doing the same thing with my own business. I’m letting my business goals affect my level of calm and presence when I’m with my children. Can you think about how is this showing up in your life, too?
There is so much power in awareness, though. What a beautiful gift it can be! There is a way to work toward my bigger goals, while maintaining happiness as my day-to-day objective. I think it starts with acknowledgment, being really present and deliberate with your time, but also being open to possibility and not tied to how the goal shows up in your life. Try to end each day full of gratitude. I truly believe that you can have anything you want in this life. Now, I believe that happiness should be a non-negotiable on that list!
I invite you to take a look at your current goals for your brand. Taking the steps each day toward those goals may not always be fun, but it sure doesn’t need to make you feel unhappy. Do you think you could try to make happiness your goal each day? Even if what you have to do is less than desirable, find a way to create joy. Your future self will thank you (and so will your family!) 🙂
Wishing all you moms a Mother’s Day full of happiness!